On the road again

Today is my last day at Grand Canyon National Park, North Rim. It will be spent packing and packing and cleaning and loading up the car. I hope to watch the sunset and enjoy a bite to eat on the veranda one last time.

Although I didn't finish everything on my North Rim bucket list, I am satisfied with what I have seen here. I don't think it is really possibly for a person to fully explore and understand the canyon, I haven't gotten close. But I have hiked the Rim-2-Rim, and witnessed its undying beauty in each different life zone. I saw the seasons change, from snowy spring to hot summer to shorter days as it creeps into fall- the canyon rim erupted in green and wildflowers as spring marched into summer. I would like to witness the aspen leaves change into their fall colors, but I need to move on.

I haven't been completely satisfied with life here for months. Although the location is great, the situation is strange and really not for me. I want to have my own space, I want to cook my own food and not wince down mediocre cafeteria food for every meal. I miss museums and sitting at cafes, drinking tea and talking with friends or reading a book. "I want.... I miss...." I want to be happy in the moment and to take time to appreciate the delicacies of life on earth. But I have become so frustrated with the situation here that I catch only few glimpses of true mindfulness.

You would think this would be a perfect spot to clear your head and soak in the surrounding beauty. It really is, but then I walk from the canyon edge, back toward the employee living area and feel trapped. So onward I go, hoping to move toward self awareness and mindfulness through the exploration of the America West, places I have never before been.

I leave tomorrow morning and will go to Bryce Canyon National Park, Arches National Park, Salt Lake City, Yosemite National Park, Los Angeles, Joshua Tree, Tucson, White Sands National Monument, Carlsbad Caverns, Austin, Houston and then back to Mississippi to help my parents move to North Carolina. And then what? I have no idea. Right now, all I have is time.

Sunset over the Grand Canyon (July 30). Fog slowly filled the canyon until the sunset was no longer visible, but dissipated again to welcome nightfall.