year in review

It wasn't always good, but it was another year, and that isn't too bad.

This year was a whirlwind. It was like a storm that sweeps through with such force you aren’t sure what’s happening. But when it’s passed, you take root again. For better or for worse.

It’s hard to look back with fondness since the winds have just settled. I don’t know quite yet what to think. But I'm pleased to be where I am and I'm looking forward to what it has lead up to.

"Most people don't know there are angels whose only job is to make sure you don't get too comfortable & fall asleep & miss your life."

Brian Andreas

so i moved again

A lot has happened in the last month, but I still feel like I am going nowhere.

1. my grandmother passed away
2. my mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, and aunt completed the Marine Corps Marathon in D.C. and I was a member of their support crew
3. I moved with my parents to North Carolina-packed, unpacked, settled in
4. saw Billy Elliot at Durham Performing Arts Center
   
5. memorial reception
6. 6 and a half hour interview for a year long internship at Beausol Gardens, have yet to hear back, cross your fingers!
   
7. aunt's birthday at Jordan Lake
8. knit a scarf and then another, and now I will knit a hat to match
9. went to MD to see family for Thanksgiving-ate too much, saw Tangled in 3D, played games, did a puzzle

So it has been a bit crazy, overwhelming and underwhelming, coaxing thoughts of what is my purpose here or there. I'm still not able to settle down, wanderlust has captured me and won't let me go! I'm on my way to Pittsburgh mid-week to visit friends and old haunts. I also want to travel abroad but I have been putting "real life" off for quite long enough. Now for the real job searches (but hopefully I get my farming internship), and the joining of clubs and organizations so I can find friends and make a life for myself here. North Carolina is beautiful- mountains in the west, ocean in the east, and forests and creeks and marshes in the middle. There is an abundance of trails, museums, pubs, food co-ops and people who want to make a difference in the world. I'm excited to be here but it will take awhile for me to get up the courage to begin putting my roots down here. I've been in limbo for so long, I look forward to creating a home but the wind keeps carrying me this way and that.

uprooted from the bank of New Hope Creek at the
Johnston Mill Nature Preserve, Chapel Hill, NC

a couple weeks ago

A couple weeks ago I drove to Montrose in Houston, TX to visit Anita and Austin for the weekend.

Their cats, The Baby Jesus (left) and Natasha (right).

Here are some of the things we did:

• We went out to dinner at Hollywood for a Vietnamese meal and shared a bottle of Andre champagne (typically $4).
• Anita and I went to the Rothko Chapel and to the Menil Collection to drink in Dadaist and Surrealist artwork.
• We grilled steak and made fajitas.
• We read books and played with the cats.
• Anita and I ate crepes to reminisce about our crepe making days.
• We went to brunch at Brasil, a restaurant with exposed brick walls, and poked around next door at Domy Books and were amused by the selection of books and novelties.

I had a lot of fun visiting a new city and seeing old friends. Thanks for your hospitality, guys!
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I had learned a bit about the Rothko Chapel in my Modern Art class at Pitt, but hadn't thought much about it. After all, 14 black paintings are just black, right? But when we were browsing the web for things to see in the area, we saw that the Rothko Chapel was just 3 blocks away, and free, so Anita and I decided to check it out.

It is not a traditional Christian chapel, but a nondescript brick building, and inside it is octagonal with a peaked ceiling that allows natural light to enter. On each wall hangs one or two or three large black paintings by Mark Rothko. No one is allowed to use a camera or phone or ipod while inside, keeping it silent for those who are there to meditate. When we were there, a couple student groups were sketching the architecture.

What struck me most was the depth of the paintings. One was reddish, one blueish, one had a hint of purple, one seemed almost velvety. Some had borders, also black, but the blacks were a slightly different shade. The line they made was full of intensity and stress, but was also calming. Rothko's brushstrokes were small on some, swooping on others; some were all horizontal while others were fully vertical. It surprised me how much intrigue I could find in these paintings that were all just black, after all.

The Rothko Chapel is an amazing space for people of all denominations to share in prayer or meditation or just observation. Although we weren't there for very long and we came in as art observers, walking out the doors into the warm Houston sun, I felt like it had changed me somehow.

Inside Rothko Chapel (photo borrowed from Studio Concrete)